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NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,
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there was a typical
American girl...
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who happened to bump into
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a typical red-blooded
American boy.
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And she bumped into him...
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and bumped into him.
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So they decided they'd better
sit down and talk this over
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before they had an accident.
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They became good friends.
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They found they had
a lot of interests in common.
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Radio...
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television...
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trains.
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[WHISTLE BLOWING]
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And when the boy found the girl
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attractive, desirable,
irresistible,
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he did what any red-blooded
American boy would do.
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He asked her to marry him.
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They had a typical wedding,
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went on a typical honeymoon
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in a typical bridal suite.
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Except...
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it so happens
that this girl is a witch.
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[♪♪♪]
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Every young girl
needs love and romance.
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There's one thing
she doesn't need.
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Mother!
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What are you doing here?
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What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?
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I'm married.
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I know. Let you out of
my sight for one moment...
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Hold onto me and we'll be home
before you can say...
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I don't want to go.
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I was afraid of that.
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He has you under a spell, eh?
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Oh, these male witches
are the worst kind!
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He's not a witch.
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What?
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He happens to be,
if you'll excuse the expression,
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a normal, mortal human being.
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Oh, well, that's easy!
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I'll just have him trip over
a rug and break an arm!
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Mother, you will
leave him alone!
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He's a dear, sweet, wonderful,
perfectly marvelous man.
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Oh, my poor baby.
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He sounds simply horrible.
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Oh, but don't worry, Samantha.
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I'll get you out of here.
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I'm not going!
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Really?
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How would you like to spend your
wedding night with a bullfrog?
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Don't you understand?
I'm happy with him.
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Don't talk to
your mother like that.
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I'll tell you when you're happy.
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Uh-oh. He's coming in.
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I'll take care of that.
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Easy now!
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Oh, I'm not going to hurt him.
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Must be the champagne.
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May I have my key, please?
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Mother, you've got to
get out of here!
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Even witchcraft can't
keep him out there all night.
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It's our honeymoon!
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I don't know where you get it.
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Must be from your father.
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Certainly not from
my side of the family.
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Mother, he's coming in,
and you're going out.
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Oh, no, I'm not!
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Oh, yes, you are!
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One Re, Or Re, Ickery Ann
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Phillison, Follison
Nicholas John
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You are kidding?
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I've never been more serious
in my life!
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One Re, Or Re, Ickery Ann
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Phillison, Follison
Nicholas John
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Queevy quavy English navy
Stickum, stackum Buck
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B-U-C-K spells "buck"
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and out goes you!
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You naughty, naughty
little witch.
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Please?
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No!
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You're still very young
and inexperienced.
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You don't know what prejudice
you'll run into.
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They all think that witches work
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only one day a year,
on Halloween,
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we all wear those big, ugly hats
and fly around on brooms.
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What if he finds out
you're a witch?
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I'm going to tell him.
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You're going to tell him?
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I don't think married people
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should have secrets
from one another.
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When are you going to tell him?
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As soon as you leave.
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That should solve everything.
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You'll be home
before you know it.
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Mother...
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Good.
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The strangest things
have been happening.
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I took one glass of champagne
and suddenly I found myself...
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Sweetheart...
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let's sit down and talk.
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What?
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You're a what?
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I'm a witch.
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That's wonderful.
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We'll talk about it tomorrow.
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Now.
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I am a witch.
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A real, house-haunting,
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broom-riding,
cauldron-stirring witch.
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It must be the champagne.
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It's been a hectic day
for both of us.
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This getting married
is not as easy as it looks.
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Would I say I was
a witch if I'm not?
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[SIGHS]
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I don't know!
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I have an aunt
who thinks she's a lighthouse.
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And whenever it rains,
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she insists on climbing on the
garage roof to warn the sailors.
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How do you know
she isn't a lighthouse?
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Huh?
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Maybe you're the one
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looking straight at a lighthouse
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and thinks you're seeing
an old lady on a garage roof.
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Okay, okay, okay.
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My aunt is a lighthouse,
and you're a witch.
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You don't believe me.
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Okay, if you're a witch,
where's your black hat and broom
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and how come you're out
when it isn't even Halloween?
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Mother was right.
You're prejudiced.
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You told me your mother
was in India.
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She is.
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But she dropped in on me
this evening.
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Here?
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Yes.
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Is she here now?
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No.
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Good.
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Because I don't care for even
an invisible mother-in-law
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along on my honeymoon.
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I guess I'll just have to
prove to you that I'm a witch.
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That's a good idea.
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Prove it.
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I wasn't gonna do any more
witchcraft, for your sake.
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I'm from Missouri.
You know what that means?
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What?
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Show me.
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I'm not very experienced at it.
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Well, you're young yet.
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I can only do little things.
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A little thing
will be just fine.
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Just... any old
little thing.
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I have yet to see
a table lighter that works.
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Just once, I would like to see...
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Sweetheart, we all
imagine things.
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I myself...
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You may not believe this, but...
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Sweetheart, um...
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Uh...
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I need some air.
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I wish I had a drink.
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An old-fashioned.
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And a straw?
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You're a witch!
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That's what I've been
trying to tell you!
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Darling, are you all right?
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[COUGHS]
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No!
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No, I'm not all right.
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Darrin, I suppose
I shouldn't have married you,
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but I love you so much.
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I love you too,
but I hadn't figured on this.
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I'll make you a good wife,
I promise.
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This is not something
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like somebody who just thinks
they're a lighthouse.
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Oh, Darrin.
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I love you...
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so much.
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We've got to figure this out.
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Later.
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And if you can't talk
to your best friend,
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who can you talk to?
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You know, I know
all about marriage.
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That's why I'm a bachelor.
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My problem, Dave...
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The sea of matrimony is beset
with hidden shoals and reefs.
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Just found out
Samantha's a witch.
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And it takes tolerance
and understanding
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to find the channel
of true love.
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I didn't believe it until she
started moving things around.
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Marriage is a partnership
where two people, side by side,
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face life's obstacles together.
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I can't tell my family.
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If two people love each other,
really love each other,
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it'll work out.
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I have enough trouble
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getting my aunt down off the
garage roof when it's raining.
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Adjustment.
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That is the foundation
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upon which every lasting
marriage is built.
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Adjust!
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Of course, it might have
certain advantages.
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Like, if you wanted a drink
in a dry state.
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Well, I gotta go.
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Listen, if you ever need
any help or advice again,
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just feel free to call on me.
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Doc, we've been friends
for a long time.
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I don't know if you
can help me or not
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but I just had to bring
this problem to you.
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Darrin, that's
what I'm here for.
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Tell me what's bothering you.
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I'm married to a witch.
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A real, live,
house-haunting, broom-riding,
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cauldron-stirring,
card-carrying witch.
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00:12:31,468 --> 00:12:33,434
You came to me for advice.
I'll give you some.
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Now that you've had
your honeymoon,
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why don't you take a vacation?
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00:12:40,743 --> 00:12:43,077
Hal...
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00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,545
my wife is a witch.
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Cheer up.
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You should see my wife.
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00:12:55,225 --> 00:12:57,258
And I've gone over it
and over it in my mind.
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And I've come to a decision.
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I love you,
and I can't give you up.
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Oh, darling!
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00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:15,709
I'll be the best wife
a man ever had.
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00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,079
I know you will.
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We're going to have a nice,
normal, happy life together.
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And no more...
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00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:25,753
No, no! I promise.
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00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:26,754
It's not gonna be easy.
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00:13:26,756 --> 00:13:28,289
It's tough enough
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00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,791
being married to an advertising
man if you're normal, but...
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00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,893
I mean, you're going
to have to learn
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00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,162
to be a suburban housewife.
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00:13:34,164 --> 00:13:36,164
I'll learn.
You'll see, I'll learn!
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00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:39,700
Now, you'll have to learn
to cook... and keep house.
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00:13:39,702 --> 00:13:40,734
Mm-hm.
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00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,203
And go to my mother's house
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for dinner every Friday night.
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00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:45,806
Darling, it sounds wonderful.
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00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:49,643
And soon we'll be a normal,
happy couple with no problems.
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Just like everybody else.
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00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:54,815
And then my mother can come
and visit for a while and...
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Oh, well...
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00:13:56,619 --> 00:14:00,188
Maybe we better work up
to that gradually.
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Oh, I'll try.
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00:14:01,724 --> 00:14:04,092
I promise I'll try.
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00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,826
Phew!
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00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:08,162
I'm glad that's settled.
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00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,998
Let's drink to it.
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00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,500
An old-fashioned?
253
00:14:12,502 --> 00:14:14,469
With a cherry on top.
254
00:14:14,471 --> 00:14:15,869
I'll make it myself.
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00:14:15,871 --> 00:14:17,805
All by yourself.
256
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,046
We'll work it out somehow.
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00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,683
So my wife's a witch.
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00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:33,588
Every married man
has to make some adjustment.
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00:14:39,662 --> 00:14:42,196
Oh, Miss Sellers! I'm afraid
Mr. Stephens is tied...
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00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:43,897
Oh, now, don't
give it a thought, Helen.
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00:14:43,899 --> 00:14:46,834
I know he'll be glad to see me.
I'll just dash in for a moment.
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00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,106
Darrin!
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00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,608
Sheila!
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00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,976
Oh!
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00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,679
Darling, I just got back
from Nassau yesterday,
266
00:14:58,681 --> 00:15:00,314
and I've been trying
to reach you.
267
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,016
I left a message
with your secretary,
268
00:15:02,018 --> 00:15:05,119
and when I didn't hear from you
I decided to invade your office.
269
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,220
Why didn't you call me?
270
00:15:06,222 --> 00:15:08,689
Well, Sheila, um...
271
00:15:08,691 --> 00:15:11,159
Uh, you see...
272
00:15:12,295 --> 00:15:14,529
I just got back...
273
00:15:14,531 --> 00:15:16,531
I was...
274
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,399
I'm married.
275
00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:21,569
Oh, I know, dearest.
Congratulations!
276
00:15:21,571 --> 00:15:23,971
Now, I know you've got
every reason...
277
00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:27,141
You don't care?
278
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,477
Oh, sweetheart. Care?
279
00:15:29,479 --> 00:15:31,078
Of course I care!
280
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,381
After all, if I hadn't left
for Nassau when I did,
281
00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:34,582
it might have been me.
282
00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:36,950
But no hard feelings, you sneak.
283
00:15:36,952 --> 00:15:39,554
Oh, Darrin, I couldn't
be happier for you
284
00:15:39,556 --> 00:15:41,155
and I'm sure she's an angel.
285
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:44,659
I just stopped by to ask the two
of you to drop over tonight,
286
00:15:44,661 --> 00:15:46,294
if you hadn't any other plans.
287
00:15:46,296 --> 00:15:48,396
A few of the gang are coming
over for potluck and...
288
00:15:48,398 --> 00:15:51,532
Well, I realize
it's rather short notice.
289
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,833
Nothing fancy.
290
00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:55,703
Very relaxed, sitting
on the floor kind of thing.
291
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,638
Well, that's very nice
of you, Sheila.
292
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,073
But I don't know.
293
00:15:59,075 --> 00:16:02,577
It may be too soon to spring a
whole new set of people on her.
294
00:16:02,579 --> 00:16:04,412
She's not used to... Too soon?
295
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:08,082
Don't be silly, Darrin.
We're your friends.
296
00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:09,417
We're dying to meet her.
297
00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:14,054
Unless, of course,
you'd feel uncomfortable.
298
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,423
Me?
299
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:16,757
Of course not.
300
00:16:16,759 --> 00:16:18,892
Fine, then it's all set.
7:30 tonight.
301
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:21,562
I've gotta dash. See you later!
302
00:16:30,707 --> 00:16:32,373
Boy, some fancy-looking place!
303
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,475
Darrin, are you sure
I'm dressed all right?
304
00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:35,976
Darling, of course you are.
305
00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:38,412
Sheila said it was potluck,
very relaxed,
306
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,913
sitting on the floor
kind of stuff.
307
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,716
Oh.
308
00:16:49,392 --> 00:16:50,424
Darrin!
309
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,826
Darling!
Sheila.
310
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:56,764
Is this your little bride?
311
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,399
How do you do?
312
00:16:58,401 --> 00:17:00,501
Oh, why, Darrin, she's sweet.
313
00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:04,472
Uh, maybe I should
have dressed...
314
00:17:04,474 --> 00:17:06,173
Not at all, dear.
You look... sweet.
315
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:08,309
John, would you take
Mrs. Stephens'...
316
00:17:08,311 --> 00:17:10,077
Sweater.
317
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:14,014
I can tell you're the type
who always dresses so sensibly.
318
00:17:14,016 --> 00:17:15,849
You know, the capable type.
319
00:17:15,851 --> 00:17:18,085
Darrin, I bet she's
good at typing, cooking,
320
00:17:18,087 --> 00:17:21,689
taking care of the household
accounts and playing golf.
321
00:17:21,691 --> 00:17:24,158
You know, all those things
poor little me can't do at all.
322
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,626
Pity.
323
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:29,363
Won't you come in
and meet my friends?
324
00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:37,471
Folks, I'd like you to meet
Darrin's little bride.
325
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:42,109
You must bring Samantha down...
326
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:50,117
Are you all right?
327
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,353
Oh, yes.
Yes, fine, thank you.
328
00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:55,423
Now, don't worry
about Samantha, Darrin.
329
00:17:55,425 --> 00:17:56,890
We're all going to help her.
330
00:17:56,892 --> 00:17:58,125
Everybody!
331
00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:01,629
I said that since Samantha
is a stranger here,
332
00:18:01,631 --> 00:18:04,632
that we're all going to help her
and make her feel at home.
333
00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:07,835
Now, first, dear, we've got
to get you a good dressmaker.
334
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,804
Oh, but I don't need a...
335
00:18:09,806 --> 00:18:11,505
And then we'll introduce
you to Pierre.
336
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,874
He does wonders with
hard-to-manage hair.
337
00:18:13,876 --> 00:18:17,077
Incidentally, haven't we met
somewhere before?
338
00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:18,412
No. No, I don't think...
339
00:18:18,414 --> 00:18:20,013
Newport.
No.
340
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,816
The Riviera.
No.
341
00:18:21,818 --> 00:18:23,250
Speaking of traveling,
342
00:18:23,252 --> 00:18:25,419
remember, Darrin,
that time we met in Paris
343
00:18:25,421 --> 00:18:28,622
and you said, "When
I send you a telegram..."
344
00:18:30,493 --> 00:18:33,594
Darrin, only last night at
dinner Harry was telling me
345
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:36,664
that you are the brightest young
prospect in the agency business.
346
00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:40,434
Real Madison Avenue know-how.
347
00:18:40,436 --> 00:18:42,870
Ah, Sheila always
looks so beautiful.
348
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,839
Never a hair out of place.
349
00:18:44,841 --> 00:18:47,375
A wonderful girl.
Nothing she can't do.
350
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,343
You know she owns her own plane?
351
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,411
Oh?
352
00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:52,813
Do you fly?
Oh, yes.
353
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,385
Do you know Dr. Hafter, dear?
354
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,786
Samantha?
355
00:18:58,788 --> 00:19:00,388
I beg your pardon?
356
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,723
Dr. Hafter. Do you know him?
357
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,091
No.
358
00:19:04,093 --> 00:19:05,559
The plastic surgeon.
359
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,895
Does beautiful nose work.
360
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,364
No, I don't know him.
361
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,633
Oh! Funny, I...
362
00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:14,435
I could have sworn you...
363
00:19:14,437 --> 00:19:16,904
Oh, well.
364
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,206
[WHISPERS]
I won't do it.
365
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,708
Oh, Darrin, do you remember
366
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:23,944
that delightful time we had
with the contessa at Maxim's?
367
00:19:23,946 --> 00:19:25,446
I won't!
368
00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:27,281
Anyway, last I heard,
369
00:19:27,283 --> 00:19:29,450
they were involved in
the most delicious scandal.
370
00:19:29,452 --> 00:19:31,419
Maybe I will.
371
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,722
Oh, and the tennis matches start
in East Hampton this Saturday...
372
00:19:38,127 --> 00:19:40,895
I thought we could get the same
group we had last year...
373
00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:46,734
My house is open and,
you know, we could...
374
00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,604
make a weekend of it.
375
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,707
Wouldn't that be divine?
376
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:02,416
WOMAN: We'd so like to have
you and Samantha
377
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,684
over for dinner next week.
378
00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:07,387
If Tuesday's good,
Harry's invited Mr. Donahue.
379
00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:10,691
DARRIN: Samantha and I would
be glad to come to dinner.
380
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:12,660
Thank you, Mrs. Rutherford.
Mr. Donahue...
381
00:20:12,662 --> 00:20:15,496
Remember how cozy it was
sitting by the fire, Darrin?
382
00:20:15,498 --> 00:20:17,097
How the others...
383
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,434
slipped away without...
384
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,436
Without our noticing...
385
00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:27,374
is beyond me.
386
00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:46,494
Wait till you see the sports car
I had sent over from Europe.
387
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:49,029
It's simply gorgeous.
388
00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:53,634
Reminds me of the one
we looked at in California.
389
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:06,814
Oh, by the way,
Gregor is in town
390
00:21:06,816 --> 00:21:09,216
so don't plan to be home early
for dinner Wednesday night.
391
00:21:09,218 --> 00:21:11,685
He's having in a few friends
to show his new paintings,
392
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:15,422
and you must come
to show me what to buy.
393
00:21:15,424 --> 00:21:17,257
I'll pick you up
at the office at...
394
00:21:18,327 --> 00:21:20,528
At 6:00.
395
00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,470
Ah-choo!
396
00:21:33,342 --> 00:21:35,442
Oh! My zip!
397
00:21:35,444 --> 00:21:36,610
Dinner's ready.
398
00:21:37,747 --> 00:21:38,779
Oh!
399
00:21:38,781 --> 00:21:40,080
What did you do?
400
00:21:40,082 --> 00:21:42,683
I don't know! I thought I was
carrying an empty tray!
401
00:21:42,685 --> 00:21:44,685
Oh!
402
00:21:44,687 --> 00:21:46,353
Excuse me!
403
00:21:48,591 --> 00:21:50,057
Uh, her bracelet.
404
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,725
Sheila!
405
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:55,062
Sheila, here.
Here, let me help you.
406
00:22:03,706 --> 00:22:05,706
[SCREAMS]
407
00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:07,808
[SCREAMS]
408
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,311
[SCREAMS]
409
00:22:18,788 --> 00:22:20,754
[WIND STOPS]
410
00:22:37,139 --> 00:22:38,939
SAMANTHA: This soup
really is delicious.
411
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,476
As soon as Sheila gets down,
I must get the recipe.
412
00:22:44,179 --> 00:22:46,880
It's good! It really is.
413
00:23:07,637 --> 00:23:09,803
Sam, I'm not saying
you were entirely wrong.
414
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:12,039
Sheila had it coming,
but you went a little far.
415
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,273
For a while there,
416
00:23:13,275 --> 00:23:15,275
it was kind of hard to tell
which witch was which.
417
00:23:15,277 --> 00:23:17,277
Sam!
Just a little play on words.
418
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:20,213
I'm only trying to say
that you broke your promise.
419
00:23:20,215 --> 00:23:21,214
You gave me your word.
420
00:23:21,216 --> 00:23:24,518
No more, uh...
Stuff.
421
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,787
It's a little harder to break
the habit than I thought.
422
00:23:26,789 --> 00:23:28,555
Well, you can do it.
423
00:23:28,557 --> 00:23:30,190
I've got a lot of faith in you.
424
00:23:30,192 --> 00:23:32,760
Oh, thank you, darling.
425
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,232
Well, it's bedtime.
426
00:23:39,234 --> 00:23:41,068
Mm-hm.
427
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,041
I've just got to get
this kitchen cleaned up.
428
00:23:47,043 --> 00:23:48,642
Tomorrow.
429
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:50,744
That's what you said last night.
430
00:23:50,746 --> 00:23:52,212
Yeah.
431
00:23:52,214 --> 00:23:54,381
Well...
432
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:00,721
don't take too long.
433
00:24:27,349 --> 00:24:28,916
Oh, well.
434
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:37,591
Maybe I can taper off.
435
00:24:46,368 --> 00:24:48,168
[♪♪♪]